I am not a Kitten Abuser!

From: campbell@ufomind.com (PsychoSpy)
Date: 1996/02/02

MessageID: 4esa8e$aq8@newsbf02.news.aol.com#1/1

sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com
organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
reply-to: psychospy@aol.com (PsychoSpy)
newsgroups: alt.conspiracy.area51

cyronwode@aol.com writes:

> Glenn, are the kittens yours? Have you abandoned a mother cat 
> and her brood in Rachel?

Let me make this perfectly clear: I am not a crook, and I am not
a kitten abuser.  This is a vicious lie spread by my enemies.  It 
is a low, low blow, because I love those cats, I'd give my life 
for those cats, and never would I let any bit of discomfort befall 

First of all, readers of the Desert Rat will note that the kittens 
were born under the Research Center on April 1, 1995.  This means 
that as of now, February 1996, they are not kittens at all.  They 
are CATS, virtually indistinguishable from adults except for a 
higher energy level.

I have only two cats now, the others having been given away to 
GOOD HOMES known to me.  I am responsible now only for Jarod 3 and 
her mother.  Yes, it is true that for 24-48 hours at a time, the 
cats can be left alone, but I have built a heated "cathouse" for 
them, and they are always supplied with water and dry cat food.  
If my cats are hungary, as the visitor in Tikaboo's message 
implied, it is only because they refuse the dry stuff and are 
holding out for the canned cuisine, which is rationed to them at 
only two cans a day.

Of course, cats can kill for themselves if they have to.  That's 
what I like about cats.  There are plenty of field mice in the 
desert around the Research Center.  I try my best to encourage my 
cats to kill, but they don't have any respect for me.  My cats 
hate me, like everyone else.  They don't care about me.  Oh, 
they'll purr, but I know they're just kissing up to me.  All they 
really want is their cans opened.

If this is abuse, then I confess, I AM A KITTEN ABUSER.

Glenn Campbell
Area 51 Research Center, Las Vegas Annex