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Steve Douglass on Pop. Mech. Article (a parable)

From: (Glenn Campbell, Las Vegas)
Date: Tue, 20 May 1997 14:21:43 -0800
Subject: Steve Douglass on Pop. Mech. Article (a parable)

Date: Tue, 20 May 1997 15:21:09 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Intercepts Net News: Deductive Reasoning By Popular Mechanics

Area 51 closed and I missed the garage sale?

Comments on the Popular Mechanics story on Area 51.

By Steve Douglass

I turned on the tube the other day. It was time for my favorite show
to come on. To my dismay as I  flipped through the channels I found
only snowy static. I checked every channel. Everyone was gone!

What had happened? My mind began to race as I began to ponder the
possibilities. Maybe EMP ( electro-magnetic- pulse) the kind generated
by the release of nuclear weapons had triggered a massive blow out off
all the TV stations. Maybe megatons of missiles were raining down from
the skies at that very moment! A  cold sweat and sweeping fear gripped

I tried to calm myself. Maybe it was something else. Maybe for some
reason only the TV stations were knocked out.

I turned on the radio. I was relieved to hear the local oldies station
still on the air. There was no need to panic.. well  at least not yet.

I sat down and calmly tried to deduce what had happened. As  I was
thinking, I picked up a copy of Popular Mechanics. Inside I found an
article on HD TV. According the article once all TV stations converted
to the new high definition standard old analog TV's would no longer
work. They would be worthless.

That must have been what happened. They converted to HDTV overnight
and now my new 37 inch Sony was just a big paper weight. I unplugged
it and carted it down to the trash, smashed it with an axe and went
shopping for a new TV.

At the local electronics store I couldn't find any HD TVs. I deduced
they must have been out , because of everyone rushing to convert. I
chuckled to myself when I saw a stupid man buy an old analog set.
Hadn't he heard?

I went home empty handed. The clerk promised me they would have some
new HDTV sets in the  future. I wasn't too dissapointed considering
the alternatives, being fried by nuclear weapons.

As I walked in the front door of my apartment, I noticed a piece of
paper taped to mailbox. It was a note from the cable company.
Apparently I had forgotten to pay my bill and they turned it off.

Oh well, I didn't need it anyway, at least until I got my new HDTV.

-Steve Douglass

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