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From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Glenn Campbell, Las Vegas) Date: Tue, 20 May 1997 14:21:43 -0800 Subject: Steve Douglass on Pop. Mech. Article (a parable) From: Steve1957@aol.com Date: Tue, 20 May 1997 15:21:09 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Intercepts Net News: Deductive Reasoning By Popular Mechanics Area 51 closed and I missed the garage sale? Comments on the Popular Mechanics story on Area 51. By Steve Douglass I turned on the tube the other day. It was time for my favorite show to come on. To my dismay as I flipped through the channels I found only snowy static. I checked every channel. Everyone was gone! What had happened? My mind began to race as I began to ponder the possibilities. Maybe EMP ( electro-magnetic- pulse) the kind generated by the release of nuclear weapons had triggered a massive blow out off all the TV stations. Maybe megatons of missiles were raining down from the skies at that very moment! A cold sweat and sweeping fear gripped me. I tried to calm myself. Maybe it was something else. Maybe for some reason only the TV stations were knocked out. I turned on the radio. I was relieved to hear the local oldies station still on the air. There was no need to panic.. well at least not yet. I sat down and calmly tried to deduce what had happened. As I was thinking, I picked up a copy of Popular Mechanics. Inside I found an article on HD TV. According the article once all TV stations converted to the new high definition standard old analog TV's would no longer work. They would be worthless. That must have been what happened. They converted to HDTV overnight and now my new 37 inch Sony was just a big paper weight. I unplugged it and carted it down to the trash, smashed it with an axe and went shopping for a new TV. At the local electronics store I couldn't find any HD TVs. I deduced they must have been out , because of everyone rushing to convert. I chuckled to myself when I saw a stupid man buy an old analog set. Hadn't he heard? I went home empty handed. The clerk promised me they would have some new HDTV sets in the future. I wasn't too dissapointed considering the alternatives, being fried by nuclear weapons. As I walked in the front door of my apartment, I noticed a piece of paper taped to mailbox. It was a note from the cable company. Apparently I had forgotten to pay my bill and they turned it off. Oh well, I didn't need it anyway, at least until I got my new HDTV. -Steve Douglass
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