Bono/Kennedy Ski Conspiracy [humor]
From: Christy Castleton <chris@ufo-hyway.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Jan 1998 19:48:31 -0800
|
[Forwarded from ufolist@riskers.org]
The recent tragic deaths of Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy in
tree-related skiing accidents has conspiracy theorists abuzz.
The ominous parallels just can't be denied!
+ William Kennedy died after skiing into a tree in Aspen, CO
+ Sonny Bono died after skiing into a tree in Lake Tahoe, CA
+ An Aspen is a kind of tree.
+ The word "Tahoe" is Native American for "tree"
+ Bono was interviewed by MTV VJ "Kennedy" at the last Republican
convention
+ Kennedy had a secretary named "Loni"--which rhymes with "Sonny"
+ Kennedy was a socialist who thought everyone (but him) should just
"share"
+ Bono was once married to "Cher"
+ Kennedy was born into an idolized family yet managed to disgrace
himself
+ After losing family and career in his divorce with Cher, Bono managed
to
recreate himself honorably and rise to the position of an idolized Mayor
and then
yet managed to disgrace himself by becomming a Congressman
+ Kennedy was accused of molesting an underage girl
+ Bono had an underage daughter named, ironically, "Chastity"
+ Kennedy couldn't carry a tune!
+ Sonny couldn't carry a tune!
These parallels have led some to suggest a so-called Single Tree Theory:
The idea that, in fact, there weren't two individual trees involved, but
rather only one tree that committed both assassinations, alone.
But the crucial causal linkage between the two killings remains elusive.
Who would have a reason to target both of these men? How was the
single tree transported? Who would have the authority to do this?
The obvious answer is the powerful "enforcement arm" of the National
Forest Service. Created in the early 50's, (after the Roswell incident
which only now new evidence of tree samples come into play) the NFS recently
had its funding questioned by Bono's House Ways and Means Committee.
So much for Bono. But what quarrel could the NFS have had with Kennedy,
a friend of every government program known to man? One has to wonder...
When asked for a comment, National Forest Service spokesman Bob Woodward
responded, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, they were
just dummies"
(Indeed).
This is one story in which the bark was worse than the bite..
chuck...
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Created: Jan 27, 1998
