Tunguska Explosion Explained [humor]
From: "Cliff" <cliff@olivetree.net>
Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 23:30:56 -0800
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The Tunguska explosion was actually caused by Nikola Tesla and an
ill fated request that Santa Claus bring him a monopolar magnetic
timed and directional pulse disgronificator. Santa knew that the lad
Nikola was a good boy that year, so he endeavored to have the elves
build one and deliver it. During transit of Tesla's new toy in Santa's
sleigh, Rudolph's nose lit up, and the ionic field generated caused an
explosive shock wave that resulted in the destruction over Siberia.
You may think that I am nuts, but I offer proof. It is commonly
known that Santa's technical elves are tall, skinny, grey, and have
very big eyes. These elves, commonly mistaken for extra terrestrial
visitors, are a common theme to many of the fringe theories that man
clings to to explain simple day to day occurrances...
The explosion that ensued also caused more decimation than in
Tunguska. The resulting harmonic resonance that existed between
Tesla's monopolar magnetic timed and directional pulse disgronificator
and Rudolph's nose also blew the Hell out of Santa...
This, of course, was a tragedy of epic proportions. How do you
explain to the little kiddies of the world that Santa became ionized
blubber?
Thus the lie was born.
And we, the idiots of the world, have bought it. It was a cover up
that went to the highest branches of global government.
Examine the trends of holiday marketing: Is there not a tremendous
interest and incentive for the economies of the world to perpetuate
this lie about what really happened?
The only stumbling block was to explain why the real Santa stopped
his deliveries, and shoulder the burden onto the parents of the world
to the benefit of the evil Toys R Us Corporation!
If there really was no Santa, how did the tradition become so
entrenched in world culture? Explain that one to me. Yeah, I thought
so...
This has led to other theories and cover ups too. In a follow up
article called the Grey elf (alien) connection, I discuss whether this
was an accident, or a conspiracy, and I explore the following
plausible results:
Is it not plausible that these grey elves ("aliens") now being
unemployed, started into the business of abducting people under
contract with the U.S. Government?
And what about Santa's technology? The research documents were all
seized on a raid to the North Pole by the forerunner to the CIA, and
later delivered to the U.N.
Did you really believe that Santa came down the chimney? He
TELEPORTED!
And the sleigh used the ionic pulse of Rudolph's nose to open a
time portal that the sleigh "slid" through.
This is the basis of stealth technology and what inspired the
Philadelphia Experiment. It is all so clear when you really think
about it... Don't miss the next series of A and E specials that
answer these shocking questions once and for all...
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Index: Tunguska Explosion (#5)
Created: Sep 22, 1998
